Sleepless
by Dlbn
Summary: Haunted by the past and unable to sleep, Soubi ponders his relationship with Ritsuka.


Dlbn: Hey everyone! We're back with a one-shot dedication for Soubi's birthday! Happy birthday, Soubi-san!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any characters, items, places, or anything else from the series. It all belongs to Yun Kouga; who is coming off hiatus with Loveless and will resume drawing this fall!

000

Rain danced an almost rhythmic storm against the tightly-shut windows of the apartment of one Agatsuma Soubi in the wee hours of an early fall morning. The fighter sat in front of an almost completely blank canvas. Three ugly-looking olive green lines formed an unrecognizable jumble on the white before him, but he couldn't bring himself to add more or scrap the project. It wasn't for a class or a gift for anyone, but rather a way for him to try and clear his overly cloudy mind. He hadn't slept in about twenty four hours, and he was sure that both Kio and Ritsuka would yell at him about it come morning. Ritsuka…

Soubi risked a glance back over his shoulder at the raven haired angel that had fallen asleep on his bed hours ago. His mother would likely flip her lid the next day when the young boy went home, but it was worth it to keep him safe and let him have a good night's sleep, just this once. Sure, in the morning Ritsuka would moan something about missing curfew, his mother getting mad, and being late for school. But for now, it was worth it. The Sagan brothers had long moved back in with the much older blonde and shared a cot on the other side of the room; radiating snores.

Even the soothing sounds of the rainstorm weren't enough to lull him to sleep. Too much was running through his mind right now. He hadn't been back from Seimei for much long, only about a week and a half, but it was as if nothing had changed. Ritsuka and the Zero boys were still close and gladly accepted him back. He'd fallen back to Ritsuka's side as his forever loyal servant, now that his ties to Seimei had been severed, and things continued from there. No one mentioned the elder Aoyagi's name nor the graveyard incident when Soubi left Ritsuka under his brother's order. No one spoke of where he'd been or what he'd done while he was there, nor did they discuss Ritsuka's heart-wrenching decision to join Septimal Moon in lieu of having Soubi there to protect him. Kio had even seemed to learn that discussing Soubi's absence was not to be done. For the most part, the lime haired artist kept his distance when they weren't in school; thinking Soubi and Ritsuka both deserved and needed time together and alone.

Soubi tore his eyes from the vision of beauty in front of him and looked back at his canvas. He sighed, not finding the will within him to continue. Another almost-blank canvas he'd let the brothers play with while he was out with Ritsuka somewhere, he supposed. The artist stood and stretched his back until he heard a loud pop in response. Making his way to the kitchen, he grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the counter and walked to the doors leading to his balcony. Opening the door only slightly, he lit the stick with a lighter from his jeans pocket and took a drag off of it. Smoke poured out of his lips when he exhaled; escaping out the open door and into the cool night air.

He couldn't remember a lot of things about his past, simply because he chose to block them out. But the thing that had helped him get through his brief stint with Seimei and his true Fighter, Nisei, weren't thoughts of what he did remember of his childhood, but rather of Ritsuka. The young neko was new to their world of spell battles and Sacrifices and Fighters. But in only such a short time, he'd learned enough about their world that it seemed he'd been a part since his birth.

He remembered the day that they met as the single greatest day of his life. The day he met the young boy that would melt the walls of ice he'd built around his heart, mind, personality, and body. The boy who would unintentionally make him question everything he once knew and was taught. The one who would teach him to be his own person and not lose sight of himself. A boy with a traumatic childhood that gave out the best advice that he himself should have been following, but didn't. With a psychotic, abusive mother, absent, uncaring father, and psychotic, allegedly dead brother influencing his life, it was a wonder the boy hadn't descended into madness by now. Soubi was glad that he hadn't, but it was still a shock.

He had barely had enough time to grab the preteen by the arm before he had run off, and he was rather surprised that no one said anything about an earless, twenty-one year old man talking to a twelve year old virgin boy outside of his elementary school. He'd been warned about Ritsuka's demeanor and obsession with taking photos and making memories with them, but still, nothing could have prepared him for the rather cold young male and his rather happily spewed invitation to make memories.

Soubi gently touched his bottom lip. Memory of the kiss he had shared with the young boy in the park that day still made his lips tingle. It was a chaste kiss that only lasted a few seconds, but it had felt like eternity. There was some spark behind the touching of their lips, and the blonde only could hope that his young companion had felt the same. Of course the moment had been ruined by Breathless, but he still wouldn't forget it. Hopefully his Sacrifice felt the same.

Their relationship was slow to get off the ground, but it eventually did. From the day they met to the moment Seimei made his still existence known, they had worked on building up their bonds and the trust between them. Ritsuka had even seemed to be getting used to being kissed by the blonde and, once and a while, would kiss back a little or even act as if he was going to initiate it before Soubi got impatient and made the first move. Moments like that were rare, but he cherished them. But Seimei's return had changed everything. Even without either of them saying it, they both knew it was true. Seeing Seimei again had sent shivers of disgust, horror, and repulsion down Soubi's spine; a testament to how much he'd changed since meeting his Ritsuka. Before, he would have done anything to have Seimei return alive. Do anything to get him back at his side and in charge of him once more. Seeing Seimei was supposed to send waves of joy and relief through his body. Ritsuka truly was an angel. For he had saved Soubi from himself just enough that he was able to stand up against Seimei when the elder brother tried to trick Ritsuka into permanently bonding himself to his brother.

Soubi shook it off as he took another drag of the cigarette perched between his lips. The sun was beginning to rise off of the horizon, but his restless mind wouldn't let him go to sleep even yet. Ritsuka and the Zeroes would be up soon and getting ready for school, so sleeping now wouldn't be very beneficial to him, if he was being honest with himself.

He really regretted leaving Ritsuka alone in the graveyard simply because Seimei ordered him to. All the while he was with his former master and his psychotic true other half, he wanted nothing more than for his life to be a nightmare. A nightmare that was about to end. That he'd wake up one day and suddenly be back at his apartment with Kio complaining that the place was a dump. Wake up to Ritsuka worriedly telling the pierced male to shut up and allow Soubi some sleep for one reason or another, and the Zero boys to be prodding at him to get a response. The day Seimei let him return was one of the happiest days of his life. Finally, he could be with his precious Ritsuka, his light and his savior. He wasn't too happy to hear from his former Sensei and the head of Septimal Moon, Minami Ritsu, that Ritsuka had joined them. However, he didn't try to talk the neko out of it and went along with it. Ritsuka wanted nothing to do with matters of Septimal Moon, but kept his seat and title, to return to a semi-normal life with Soubi and his friends. Minami hadn't really been okay with it, but figured having him be a member was enough and didn't complain about it…much.

They tried to go back to the way things were, but that just wasn't possible now. Ritsuka initiated kisses more often, though he still flushed when caught by the scolding Kio or the chuckling Zeroes. Though his past actions weighed heavily on him, Soubi didn't bring it up or bother mentioning anything that he knew could easily upset the very frail, fragile balance that had fallen between the two of them. He tried to remember Ritsuka as happy, carefree, and loving. Not as the colder, easily annoyed, slightly arrogant young boy he'd turned into. He tried to pretend that they were just playing a game and trying to trick one another with new personas. He wanted to, but he couldn't.

"Ah…Soubi?" Ritsuka wondered softly from behind him. "Are you…have you slept…?"

"I have not."

The blonde didn't have it in him to lie to his Sacrifice. The young boy had been lied to so much already.

"Baka…its six A.M…."

"Hai, I know." Soubi nodded, smiling gently.

Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "Then come to bed. That's a…" He yawned. "Order."

Soubi nodded once. "Hai, as you wish." He confirmed.

The blonde put his canvas away before joining the young raven in the bed they shared more often than not.

"Why can't you sleep?" Ritsuka wondered, curling up under Soubi's right arm.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Us."

Ritsuka's ears flattened, prepared to hear that Soubi didn't want to be with him anymore.

"Nothing bad." Soubi corrected his master's thoughts. "Just thinking about everything that happened."

"Oh." Ritsuka gently kissed the corner of the blonde's mouth. "Why were you thinking about that? You'll be up for hours with that."

"Hence why it's six A.M."

Ritsuka laughed quietly so he wouldn't wake the snoring Zeroes. "Yeah, I walked into that one."

Soubi smiled. Silence passed for a few minutes.

"Are you okay with how things are?"

"Huh? What kind of question is that?" Ritsuka asked. "I'm with you, aren't I? So clearly I'm happy being with you. Am I happy about how we got to this point? No, but there's nothing we can do about it. I guess…I think things would be much different between us if things went differently."

"You wouldn't be so afraid of losing me…" Soubi muttered.

"I know that won't happen." Ritsuka hugged him. "Seimei's not taking you away from me again. Never again."

"I doubt he'd try."

Soubi didn't know what the elder Aoyagi was planning on doing after they were defeated by Gomon Mikado, but he wasn't all that sure that he wanted to know anyway. Ritsuka preferred not to know anything regarding Seimei unless it was absolutely necessary. Everyone knew that Ritsuka was the only one that could stop Seimei, and the only one that Seimei would never hurt, let alone kill. Septimal Moon needed him as much as he had, in Soubi's absence, needed them.

"That's beside the point, kitten."

Ritsuka blushed. "Stop calling me that…"

"Not until you order me to do so."

Ritsuka was silent, but wore a smirk reminiscent of Seimei's when he was younger, but with less much malice behind it.

"You know I'll never do that…" He whispered finally.

Soubi kissed him. "I know."

Ritsuka kissed him back, threading his fingers through the pale, blonde locks. Soubi moaned gently, pulling the younger male closer. They separated before they could make too much noise and awake the Zeroes, thus sending them into twin tirades about being woken up and to make their own room in the apartment, or move into a two bedroom.

"Sukidayo…" Ritsuka muttered softly.

"Sukidayo." Soubi kissed his temple.

"Why were you asking me if I'm okay with how things are? Are you okay with it? Is something wrong?" Ritsuka wondered.

Soubi pit a finger to the younger's lips to hush him. "Nothing's wrong." He stated. "I was just thinking about us and how things happened between us."

"And…?"

"I wish things had happened differently too…but it was all worth it."

"Why do you say that?" Ritsuka cocked an eyebrow.

Soubi smiled gently and pulled the neko closer. "Because everything that happened, as poorly as it did, brought me all the more closer to you."

Ritsuka rolled his eyes, smiling at the elder male. "You're so cheesy…" He stated. "But I guess you're my cheesy boyfriend…"

Soubi flushed and felt his heart swell at the term. "That I am."

Ritsuka chuckled. "Go to sleep, Soubi. That's an order. I can get myself to school; them too." He pointed over his shoulder back at the twins. "You need sleep."

"But…"

"Are you protesting an order…?" Ritsuka blinked in confusion.

"I don't want you to get hurt…"

"On my way to school? The same path we take every day? The same path I took every day while you were gone? I'll be _fine_, Soubi." Ritsuka assured. "Now one last time. This is an order. Go. To. Sleep, Agatsuma Soubi."

Soubi chuckled, slightly enjoying the more commanding nature his Sacrifice had gained while under the tutelage of Septimal Moon.

"Hai, Ritsuka." He kissed the tip of the neko's nose. "Oyasumi."

Ritsuka chuckled. "Oyasumi."

They snuggled closer together to get some sleep before the younger had to leave the warmth of the bed for the chill of the autumn air.

He meant what he said. All the hells they had gone through, all the separations and waiting, all the fighting and winning, all the enemies they met and took down; it was all worth it to give Soubi his Ritsuka back. Having the neko in his life made everything he had ever been through bearable; even what he'd gone through as a child.

For the first time in almost twenty-four hours, Soubi was able to get some sleep.

He had survived another sleepless night. And all he could do now was prepare for the next one that was sure to follow.


End file.
